It's Week 2 of 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - GO! 4 Weeks - 3 habits - 2 - 1 New You!

Welcome back! We're cruising into Week 2 but, in case you need to review Week 1 again, here's the link. Today, we're going to take a few minutes to review and assess our goals. And, just in time for the Thanksgiving table, we're going to review how to boost our well-being through communication!

Alright, let's get moving! Don't forget to email me with your progress. Your core busting workout is also up!


Check-in and Assess

How did last week go?! How many points did you get? What were your successes? Challenges? 

Just like last week, let's grab a piece of paper and simply jot down your thoughts to the following questions. Or, simply answer them in your head as you go along.

1) Now that you've worked on your 3 goals for a week, what are seeing now that's important to you?

2) Taking the answers above into account, is anything coming up for you in terms of your goals? Are there any changes that you want to make to your goals? 

3) If you do want to revise your goals, write down those revisions now.

4) Now, taking into account what you just wrote or thought, what's standing out for you in terms of anything you can do each week to help you achieve your goals each week?

5) Just like last week, don't stress about if you did this exercise correctly. There is no right or wrong. This is all about you and what matters most to you. 

Can't wait to hear from you today or tomorrow and hear how things are going. If you haven't already, now is a great time to schedule you live check-ins via phone or google hangout.

I'll see you tomorrow! Don't forget your 10 minute workout too!



Get Ready for the Week by Boosting Your Well-Being with Communication!

We're heading into the Thanksgiving week. For many of us, we'll be with family and friends. While this is wonderful, we also can find ourselves struggling to communicate. Throughout this week, strive to listen, learn and converse.

After working with so many people over the years, I can tell you that there's a common thread that binds us all. We all struggle to communicate effectively at times. Thus, communication can be a major source of stress in our lives. This also means that good communication can be a major source of well-being and connection. 

We know how a great a good conversation feels. We also know how tough it can be when we feel like we're not communicating well or we feel like we're not being seen, heard or understood. There are also times when we struggle to communicate what we're feeling or we may even have trouble figuring out what we're feeling. Considering there are 2 people in a conversation each with their own challenges, it's no wonder that communication can be tough sometimes. 

So what are some steps we can take to improve our communication styles? Here are 5 steps that you can take this week when you find yourself in a tough conversation or when you're struggling to find the words.  

  • Always remember that we all want to be loved, seen, heard and understood. When you're in a conversation, as hard as it may be sometimes, listen to what the other person is saying and reflect it back. You don't have to agree with someone to show that you hear and understand what they're saying. A conversation becomes much more effective when each person feels heard. 
    • An example is a couple who was renovating their kitchen found that they were constantly getting into arguments about little decisions. When they took a step back though, they realized that they felt like the other person just wasn't listening to them. And, when this happened, they each fought harder to be heard and this resulted in an argument. To remedy this, they each tried resist the urge to respond immediately with their own views and instead to reflect back what the person was saying and then explain their own views. An example is "If I hear you right, you're saying that you want the room to be painted purple because you find it calming. Is that correct? I'd like it be calming too. Maybe we can find a color that works for each of us?"
  • Listen. Sometimes, we're not listening but rather waiting for the other person to finish speaking so that we can say our next point. If we're responding immediately when someone finishes their thought, this may be happening. Next time you're in a conversation, try to silence your thoughts and be present with what someone is saying. After hearing what they say, then respond.
  • Ask yourself, "What's my role here?" This is a critical question. Often, we focus on what the other person "should" do and neglect our part. But, think about what part you play in a scenario. 
    • This can be tough. For instance, if you're having trouble with someone you're working with, imagine what it would be like to work with yourself. What are the challenges? What are the benefits? The greater awareness you have, the better the conversation.
  • Next question, "What am I wanting {fill in the blank} to hear?" Conversations can be HARD. At the end of the day, try to get really clear on what you want the other person to hear from you. Otherwise, your message may get lost in details.
    • For instance, a spouse was really annoyed that the other spouse was traveling for a second weekend in a row and was ready to complain that the traveling spouse was spending too much money and that they should stay home. But, when they took a step back, they realized that what they really wanted their spouse to hear was that they missed them and wanted to spend more time with each other. A much different message from the initial message.
  • Do not give the silent treatment. If you grew up in a home where this was common or if you're just used to doing this because you struggle to communicate, try to break this habit. 
    •  If you're silent because you don't know what to say, simply say, "I can't talk about this right now. I have to think about it but let's talk tomorrow." It says that you're taking care of yourself but also that you'll return to the conversation.
    • Then, refer to the paragraphs above this to get clear on what you're wanting to say.

As I said, conversations can be tough and wonderful. They not only bring us closer to people but help to make our lives better. Luckily, we are all given endless opportunities to practice. These five steps can help reduce some miscommunication, help our relationships grow and boost our well-being.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week filled with good communication!

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